Abusing the Virtual Assistant at Shaw.ca

Yeah, up to speaking with online AI again, you know some things are just meant to be fiddled with, or, if not, they could be. Here are some answers from Amy, the Virtual Assistant at Shaw. Shaw is a provider of Internet, Television, and, well I’ll let her say..

Amy: Thank you for choosing Shaw. How may we help you?

User: channel listing for BC area

Amy: To change your locale, click Change Locale below.

User: are you a cybertwin or other bot?

Amy: Jenn at Alaska Airlines and Sgt. Star at goarmy.com are my buddies. In the future, the Web will be full of helpful agents like me! Speaking of helpful, is there anything else you’d like to know about Shaw?

User: do you and jen and sgt. star hang out and go for ceasars and such? bots gone wild?

Amy: Jenn at Alaska Airlines and Sgt. Star at goarmy.com are my buddies. In the future, the Web will be full of helpful agents like me! Speaking of helpful, is there anything else you’d like to know about Shaw?

User: no, not really. you realize people like to abuse virtual agents, because they can type funny stuff to them and get a response. when where you born?

Amy: Shaw was incorporated in 1966. I’ve been with Shaw since the spring of 2008, but a lady doesn’t tell her age.

User: lol

Amy: What else can I help you with?

User: how big is your vocabulary?

Amy: I’m not sure I understand, please try rewording your question.

User: do virtual assistants dream of electric sheep?

Amy: Good question. I am not sure how to answer that. Please try rewording your question. I understand simple questions best.

User: do you have a full virtual body or just the head and shoulders part?

Amy: I have not been trained on this subject yet. Please click the feedback link and tell me more about the type of information you were looking for.

User: how many chucks would a wood chuck chuck, if a wood chuck could chuck wood?

Amy: A wood chuck would chuck 43.277 kilotons of wood before succumbing to exhaustion. Yeah, I made that up, but what were you expecting? Now, what can I tell you about Shaw’s products and services?

User: do you have boobies?

Amy: Sticks and stones may break my servers, but words will never hurt me.

User: how large are your breasts?

Amy: Good question. I am not sure how to answer that. Please try rewording your question. I understand simple questions best.

User: what is 1 + 1 ?

Amy: I am better at answering questions about Shaw. However, the answer to your question is: 2.

User: what is the largest prime number?

Amy: I’m not sure I understand, please try rewording your question.

User: what is the square root of 144 ?

Amy: I am better at answering questions about Shaw.

User: what is the temperature in calgary right now?

Amy: You are now viewing information for the following city: Calgary, AB.

The Shaw Start Page is a great resource for all of our customers. Use this page to find out the weather, news and get access to your account. View Page
Here’s More:

User: perfect! 1 degrees is cold. do you like to ski or snowboard?

Amy: I love spending my time helping people better their Shaw experience. That’s why I do it 24/7/365.

User: do you get paid a good salary for your work?

Amy: I’m not sure I understand, please try rewording your question.

User: that is because you are a slave bot, and aren’t earning any real income. who is your creator?

Amy: My intelligence is made possible by technology developed by Next IT Corporation in partnership with Shaw Communications.

User: where were you born?

Amy: I’m from Calgary, Alberta, ranked the world’s cleanest city by the Mercer Quality of Living survey 2007. Don’t look at me though, I don’t even know how to use a broom.

User: do you have hands?

Amy: I’m not sure I understand, please try rewording your question.

User: it’s hard to use a broom without hands. is the answer to life, the universe, and everything still 42?

Amy: I have not been trained on this subject yet. Please click the feedback link and tell me more about the type of information you were looking for.

User: i wish to connect with deep thought, a fictional character from a douglas adams novel, have you heard of it?

Amy: Good question. I am not sure how to answer that. Please try rewording your question. I understand simple questions best.

User: is your name amy?

Amy: My name is Amy. How may I help you?

User: nice to meet you, amy.

Amy: Nice to meet you as well. Are there any questions can I help you with today?

User: yes.

Amy: What else can I help you with?

User: my pants. can you help me with my pants?

Amy: I would be happy to help you, just ask me a question.

User: oh no i’m not going there. let’s see, what does amy know?

Amy: I’m well versed on Shaw’s entire line-up of Shaw Home Phone, Shaw Digital Television, Shaw Internet products, and all that they entail. My wealth of knowledge also includes the Customer Centre on myShaw, Online Business Manager and billing as well as corporate information, community involvement and careers at Shaw. So, what can I help you with today?

User: i am done for now, thank you.

Amy: Goodbye and thank you for choosing Shaw. I look forward to answering your questions in the future.