What about the others?

Here in the USA, voting day is upon us. If you ask the average person who is running for President, they would likely answer Barack Obama and John McCain.

(pause for effect)


(blink, blink)

Well if you’ve viewed the recent presidental debate coverage on TV, you could be led to think those were the only 2 parties and only 2 persons running for President. But like so much of the political mud-slinging that goes around this year, that’s just not true.

In fact, there are 14 other candidates running for president from various other parties. None of these people have a ice-water’s chance in hell to win, but there they are none the less.

There is an exciting wikipedia article for those that think such things are exciting.

Well, I just wonder why aren’t any of these people showing up for the presidential debates on TV? Why don’t they have commercials? Aren’t they given equal time? Are they just not interested in debating? Strange, strange.. If anyone had the predisposition to think neither Obama nor McCain were likely successors to the GWB regieme, clearly nobody is making much of a fuss about it.

My chosen party doesn’t even have a candidate this year. I guess the Geniocratic folks couldn’t find anyone smart enough to run for president. Most of the contenders are fairly stupid so wouldn’t make the cut. I mean, geez, Ralph Nader? Hasn’t this guy done enough damage to the United States already? The product of Ralph Nader’s barrage on the automotive industry can still be felt by sour uninformed reviews like this one. And so I rest my case with that guy.

What do we have to pick from?

Well we have Obama, he somehow reminds me of an Egyptian pharoah though I can’t really say why. He was born in Hawaii. Biden, I dunno, but he just looks the part. I can see him being VP and doing well at it.

Then we have McCain, and he is losing it, like a hapless little old man on his last legs, well he was born in Panama, a territory of USA. It’s not that I don’t like him. I just dislike that every time he opens his mouth he has to bash his running mates and say lies or make up stuff. If he is doing that now in the campaign, I can only imagine what atrocities he would try to pull over our eyes if given the Presidency. People see right through that kind of crap and don’t want to vote for him, regardless of chosen party. I’d rather vote for Obama on that point alone just so we don’t have to put up with 4 more years of bushisms and questionable sanity. The guy is showing early signs of dimentia or altzheiemers perhaps.

Sure, his running mate Palin is a sexpot, at least figuratively, she shuns abortion and feigns abstinence while parading around like the folksy beauty queen she is, her daughter is knocked up and said boyfriend forced via shotgun to marry her.

Well, it’s not that I don’t appreciate her religious opinions, I just don’t think they belong under government enforcement. And just because she’s got a hot bod (more or less, for a hockey mom and all, milf status) well it doesn’t mean I would want her as president, or vice for that matter. She’s too young to remember women using coat hangers and knives for self-abortion. Is that the kind of primative solution she wants people to go back to? Not for me.. And government should have no business making those kinds of decisions for people.

Oh, here comes the soap box.

I wouldn’t disagree to limits on the number of children one should have, or that marriage should be for procreation, whether its a straight or gay couple that makes or adopts children, but don’t just tell me marriage is between a man and a woman without that other part about Catholics want to create more Catholics to feed the coffers. That’s what the whole religious debate is really about, creating more religion, it has nothing to do with straight versus gay marriages, it’s about making babies. On that note, to all religious people who get married and think that way, you’d best pop out a kid or two within a year or so, or be divorced by the merit that you didn’t procreate more Christians or Muslims or whatnots for your church. How’s that for a reversal? Man apparently creates god in his own image. Better to be agnostic.

Lost my train of thought, off the rant soapbox now.

So, for president, how about mix it up, like, Obama and McCain, or Biden and Palin. How about a debate session where the opposing party has to say 10 good things about their rival, and the one who can’t genuinely say good things about the other person loses.

These debates are silly anyway, I can’t tell you how many times someone asked a direct question and the candidate began rattling off some other topic. The moderator or person asking the question should totally call them on that “I’m sorry, you didn’t answer my question. Let me repeat the question, and this time if you don’t answer it directly you are kicked out of the debate.”

‘What’s your view on foriegn policy?’

“Well, my running mate here doesn’t know beans about foriegn policy. In fact they voted against the way I did about the policy, let me tell you a little story about my time in vietnam, it’s a real tear-jerker”

‘No, wait a minute bucko, you’re not answering my question. What is your view on foriegn policy?’

“Oh, uh, yes we should have one. Vote for me and I’ll make one up.”

‘Next candidate please? How do you feel about us occupying Iraq?’

“Ah, an occupation is important, we need to build the workforce and give people occupations. When elected president by golly I will do …”

‘No, I said, Iraq Occupation, how do you feel about it? We invaded their country, remember?’

“Oh yes, that, well, ya see I voted against it. No sir, I don’t like it. We need to get our troops home and stop spending billions of dollars we don’t have on this silly war.”

‘Thanks, you answered me, how long did that f’ing take to answer? g’dam’it you people are thick!’

Stuff like that, man I wish they would just do something like that..

McCain: My collegue Obama is like a bowl of jell-o, inexperienced goo.

Obama: Hey little fart, better watch yo mouth or Ima gonna biatch-slap ya and yo blondie plastic-wife back to the old folks home!

Man that would be great.

Palin: (winks) I’m runnin dontcha know. Woo, hi kids!

Biden: Dayum woman you on some crazy meds. Can someone take this girl off the stage please so we can get serious?

Good television. Bring in the other contenders. I’m sure there’s plenty of campaign money floating around the big blue and red to make it happen. Or maybe they are afraid that some real debate will go on and not a bunch of rhetorical double-talk? If anywhere, it would happen on local cable TV or NPR, not the big boy networks whose payrolls are founded by said donkey and elephant.

I’ll be quiet now.. just a thought. so random.

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